A Call to (Feminist) Arms

By: Jen Carey

Recently there’s been a drastic increase in support for groups that stand for equality. Courtesy of liberated ladies in film, music, and publishing, some men (though considerably less in numbers) in the same fields, and rad new publications, movies, and music, the word feminism has settled more comfortably on tongues than it has in a while. Girls and women have found solace and comfort in the words of their idols, found homes in the arms of the movement that welcomes differences and condemns hatred. And courtesy of two teenage boys with computer and an apparent lack of parental supervision, their fellow teenage boys and, inexplicably, some grown men, have founded a Twitter community they call “Meninism” in the hopes that they will one day achieve equal rights for men. They stand for equality and against the vile, man-hating movement that is feminism. The page is (to no one’s surprise) absolute shit, a cesspool of clichés, grammatical errors, paradoxes, and rape jokes. It’s basically the cyber equivalent of a group of prepubescent boys tossing “your mama” jokes from behind chapped lips and oily faces. It reeks of testosterone and insecurity. And Axe body spray.

But, of course, as an avid supporter of equality, I’m all too happy to help these valiant souls in their plight to secure rights for men. So I thought I’d list a few organizations that would be happy to lend a hand here or there:

-The Government

-The Education System

-The Media

-The Military

-The Movie Industry

-The Music Industry

-Every Industry



-Also women


-Everybody, everywhere, all the fucking time

Look, dudes, I get it. I do. It’s scary. We’re imploring you to help us dismantle a system that has done nothing but work in your favor since the beginning of time. We’re pulling the rug out from under you, instead of just vacuuming it. This is a change, it’s going to take time, and I’m terribly sorry to say it, but to some degree, it is going to inconvenience you. That being said, it’s still not, by any means, okay to be anti-feminist, to grapple for new ways to oppose female liberation. Because then, you’re not just an ignorant byproduct of a patriarchal system you did not create; you’re a dick.

The thing is, we’re not here to make things easier for you. We’re not concerned about stepping on your toes, particularly when you’re the ones sticking your legs out to trip us in the first place. We’re here to make the world a safer, easier place for women to live. Of course, by extension, equality is beneficial for everyone. But your decision to stand beside us in our fight for liberation shouldn’t be based on the pretense that we’re doing this for your sake. Contrary to the beliefs clenched fiercely in the hairy-knuckled fists of the angst-ridden, bulging-eyed asswipes behind Meninism, this movement’s purpose is not to crush men underfoot and establish matriarchy. (We see how a system built precariously on the notion that one gender is superior to the other kicked you guys in the fucking teeth, so you guys can keep that.) But for goodness’ sake could you guys please get it together, and get with the program?

I mean, it’s not just men. It’s women, too. Women terrified of being labeled a bitch and attempting to distance themselves from their distasteful sisters with the sweaty faces and the sharp tongues. But regardless of the perpetrators, pointing fingers and using the phrase “feminazi” and derailing conversations about women’s struggles with wholly unhelpful comments like “not all men!” and “the wage gap is a myth!” is asshole-y at best, and annoying as fuck.

Say you’ve got two balanced scales that you want to even out. If you persist in adding the same amount of weight to both sides, the scales are going to continue to tip. Now, if you started adding a bit more weight to one side, just enough to align them, would you consider it “unfair” and “unequal” that you were just adding more to just one side? Or would you consider it the obvious solution to the problem? Feminism is the hand that’s tossing a little more weight in women’s scale, and the opposition it receives is astounding.

Stop opposing us. Stand beside women. Stand beside us because it’s the right thing to do. Stand beside us because equality can only be beneficial for everybody in the long run. Stand beside us because we’re people, stand beside us because we’ve always stood beside you.

Feminism isn’t perfect. It has flaws and holes that need to be patched up and the work is never done. We can be defensive sometimes, our hackles are always raised, because women’s rights and freedoms are constantly being debated, restricted, stolen. Feminism doesn’t exist FOR men, but it’s sure as hell not here to hurt men. We know what that feels like all too well. So for the love of god – please put an end to these bullshit “male liberation” movements and realize that the one we’ve got, with a little more support, will do the job just fine.

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